Oh dear god, it's everywhere! All up her back! Contain! Contain! Wipes and new diaper ready just start cleaning this up. Oh god she's not done! She got me again! Sweet jesus it's a poop fountain! More wipes! Just try and catch most of it. Maybe form a poop dam with the wipes. Keep it all in one spot at least. Heads up! Another wave! Jesus we have a breach in the dam. IT'S ON MY ARM!!! Oh god it's on me!!! Focus man! Baby is clean, get her to a clean site, get poop off arm, get new diaper cinched in. The source has been plugged. Process the rest of the contaminated site. Good Lord I need a drink.