Thankfully, the new On Route service stations on the 401 feature a small market-type store along with the Tim Horton's and Burger King and Pizza Pizza. You're not getting A-plus food there but it's a hell of a lot better than the alternatives.
As I was browsing the various salads and yogurts, I noticed the little box pictured in this post. Tuna Salad? In a box? How could I go wrong?
My dear, low-blood-pressured, wife was still waiting for her chicken sandwich at Burger King so I wandered back to the truck to get my Tuna Salad Kit prepared. I opened the box to find a foil wrapped collection of crackers and a miniature version of the tuna can we're all familiar with from the grocery story.
I was a little nervous as I peeled back the top of that can. And my nervousness was entirely warranted. Because what greeted me was a food product with the exact look, texture, and smell of the wet cat food we treat our cats to on the weekend.
It was repulsive. And lord forgive me, I ate it. Quickly. I didn't want Jen to get a whiff of this abomination so I whispered "Fuck it" to myself, tried to clear my mind, and ate the damn thing. I was just finishing my last tuna covered cracker when Jen opened the door to the truck. The look on her face almost made me spit out that last mouthful of tuna paste. I guess the smell was still pretty vivid.
I collected the remnants and deposited them in the trash. This probably should have been my first step after opening that can. But it was done now. I had sustenance, no matter how disgusting, and we could now move forward with our trip to Ottawa.
The meal may have left me emotionally scarred and in desperate need of some Listerine but I remain committed to finding a healthy fast-food alternative. Maybe next time just some trail mix.