Saturday, 30 March 2013


The hardest part of trying to eat better is when you get in the car.  More than one diet has been ruined after 4 hours of driving and needing something quick to eat on the go.

Thankfully, the new On Route service stations on the 401 feature a  small market-type store along with the Tim Horton's and Burger King and Pizza Pizza.  You're not getting A-plus food there but it's a hell of a lot better than the alternatives.

As I was browsing the various salads and yogurts, I noticed the little box pictured in this post.  Tuna Salad?  In a box?  How could I go wrong?

My dear, low-blood-pressured, wife was still waiting for her chicken sandwich at Burger King so I wandered back to the truck to get my Tuna Salad Kit prepared.  I opened the box to find a foil wrapped collection of crackers and a miniature version of the tuna can we're all familiar with from the grocery story.

I was a little nervous as I peeled back the top of that can.  And my nervousness was entirely warranted.  Because what greeted me was a food product with the exact look, texture, and smell of the wet cat food we treat our cats to on the weekend.

It was repulsive.  And lord forgive me, I ate it.  Quickly.  I didn't want Jen to get a whiff of this abomination so I whispered "Fuck it" to myself, tried to clear my mind, and ate the damn thing.  I was just finishing my last tuna covered cracker when Jen opened the door to the truck.  The look on her face almost made me spit out that last mouthful of tuna paste.  I guess the smell was still pretty vivid.

I collected the remnants and deposited them in the trash.  This probably should have been my first step after opening that can.  But it was done now.  I had sustenance, no matter how disgusting, and we could now move forward with our trip to Ottawa.

The meal may have left me emotionally scarred and in desperate need of some Listerine but I remain committed to finding a healthy fast-food alternative.  Maybe next time just some trail mix.

Thursday, 28 March 2013

Drug Problem

Dear lord, what have I become!?!


Here we are, one week into my new lifestyle.  And things are going pretty good.  The most surprising thing is how little I miss coffee.  The coffee thermos just stays home now.  I literally have a Keurig coffee maker sitting a foot away from where I sit at work and I hardly notice it.  I guess when you get a wake up call, caffeine is pretty redundant.  I kind of wish I'd held off on buying that new Keurig brewer and those 4 boxes of espresso K-cups.

Speaking of caffeine, Monster energy drinks have become a thing of the past as well.  A silly concept when you look at the contents and the price of a can.  Can't say I won't ever have one again but it will have to be a pretty desperate situation.

I do miss the pretzels and triscuits and cheese.  But at least I recognize they are probably the main culprits of my current predicament and it's been pretty easy to turn my back on them.

I can't say the same for bacon.  I had pulled a pound of bacon out of the freezer for last weekend before all the hubbub with my blood pressure.  When it became obvious that bacon was no longer going to be featured on my breakfast plate, Jen cooked it all the other night to have ready for her sandwiches and breakfasts.  She cooked all of it right in front of me.  And that big pile of bacon sat there, cooling off on a stack of paper towels, calling my name.

And I buckled.  A bit.  I tore off a little piece.  And it was so fucking awesome.  Dear sweet Jesus, who would ever think a pig could be the most delicious food in the universe?  But I put the brakes on after that little piece.  The shock on the nurses' faces as they looked at my blood pressure levels was still pretty fresh in my mind.

Anyways, so far so good.  I don't want to become an evangelist for clean living here but things are going well.  Those things that were compulsions before have been successfully put aside.  Here's hoping I can keep it up.

Tuesday, 26 March 2013


One of the other guys in the office said this morning "Oh, they found my grape".

I guess he had dropped a grape on the floor the other day and it had rolled under his desk.  It was just out of reach and he didn't want to attempt a foot retrieval for the risk of smushing it into the carpet.  So he left it.  I'm not sure what his end game was there.  Maybe he hoped the wildly fluctuating environmental settings in our office would somehow produce a raisin.  He didn't elaborate on this point.

But the night cleaners found his grape.  And they placed it on his desk.  Like he would be appreciative of the retrieval of this lost treasure.  We speculated for several minutes on why they wouldn't have just thrown it out.  I work at a very strange place.

Monday, 25 March 2013

Blow Job

In my ongoing efforts to chronicle all the adventures that happen in my workplace bathroom, I would like to tell you how we came to have two jet engines installed in this room of shame.  Apparently some funster was thinking that most of our paper towels belonged in the toilet and not the trash can.  I am told this is what lead to our previous flushing and flooding issues.  To address this problem, the paper towel dispensers were removed and replaced with air dryers that have the capacity to blow dry a woolly mammoth in mere seconds.  In this air stream, your skin feels like it is bordering the point where it would come clean off your hands.  But the sound is the worst.  Imagine rolling down the 401 at 200 km/h with the driver side window down.  And then stick your head out the window.  That's what it sounds like.  From fifty feet down the hall.

When I hear it go off, I either chuckle to myself at the ridiculousness of it or grimace to myself at the ridiculousness of it.  My prediction is that there will soon be another flood at work as somebody attempts to flush these hand dryers away.

That Darn Cat!

So I'm trying to get into a routine with my new health concerns.  Part of that is checking my blood pressure morning and evening.  This morning I headed downstairs, skipped the coffee maker, prepared a breakfast of fruit and cottage cheese, put that down on the table, and went over to the couch where my newly acquired blood pressure monitor is.  I strap the cuff on and start the cycle.  As soon as the air pump kicks in, one of my stupid cats jumps up on the table and starts eating my breakfast.  So I'm yelling at the cat and looking around for something to throw at him without disconnecting from the monitor.  Needless to say, my blood pressure results pegged a little high this morning.

Sunday, 24 March 2013

Movie Time Continued!

The weekend of sub-standard movies continued.  I watched Constantine based on a glowing recommendation from a podcast I listen to.  I was never going to watch this movie.  Everything seemed to point to a desperate Matrix rip-off.  But this podcast made a really good case for it.  And they were right.  Keanu Reeves is horrible and the crucifix shotgun is ridiculous and dear sweet Jesus Shia Labeouf is in it but it's an engaging and interesting movie.  I don't subscribe to any Christian doctrine but I find the mythology fascinating.  I'm a big fan of the movie Prophecy and Constantine takes those themes and throws it up on a big expensive canvas.  Yah, probably the biggest surprise of the weekend.

Then we watched Broken Arrow.  I'd seen it before but I apparently forgot how truly awful this movie was.  There are people that claim John Woo is an exceptional artist.  I don't understand those people.  I want to sit with them during this movie or Face/Off or Mission Impossible II and have them point out exactly where the genius is on screen.  This is a terrible movie.  All of his movies are terrible but this one had Howie Long in it too!  Dear God I'm going to need therapy.

Lowered Expectations

After Thursday and Friday's drama, Saturday was set up for a nice relaxing day of movie watching.  And we found out there is very little out there we want to watch.  So we adjusted our expectations and set our standards a little lower than usual.

First up was Law Abiding Citizen.  This was never an option before because it failed the Movie-Title-In-The-Dialogue test right in the trailer.  But with the bar lowered I gave it a shot.  Not bad.  Fine for a Saturday afternoon.  You definitely have to check your logical thought processes at the door but it's a fine thriller type movie.

Next we watched Dredd.  This is the totally serious take on Judge Dredd starring Karl Urban.  Not the wise-cracking ridiculousness with Sylvester Stallone and Rob Schneider.  I was very nervous about this one. But I actually kind of liked it.  Very stylish and incredibly gory but great action from start to finish.  Let me repeat the gore part.  So gory.  All CG gore but still very much in your face.  If that doesn't turn you off, I'd recommend it.  Very unique.


It's official.  We are just like every other suburbanite dweller that is compelled to publicize their family structure via their rear window.  Odd mix of emotions right now.  Somewhere between shame and a sense of belonging.

Saturday, 23 March 2013


This was supposed to be a story about my latest trip to the dentist.  I had booked off Thursday to get two more wisdom teeth ripped out of my head.  And I booked Friday off to spend the day weeping into a pillow.  But things didn't really unfold that way.

This story still starts out at the dentist's office.  I rolled into the office on Thursday, panicky but resigned to the fact that this was actually going to happen.  I slumped into the chair and began my sphincter clenching to deal with the upcoming activities.  The prep nurse was just going to check my blood pressure before things REALLY got going.

And that's when this story slid entirely sideways.

The nurse was shocked at my blood pressure level.  Shocked.  And her shock did nothing to help my blood pressure.  The last time I checked my blood pressure was six years ago.  It was on the high side but it wasn't shocking.  Now it was shocking.

They checked and rechecked.  Still high.  The oral surgeon sat down and said "Look, you need to take care of this.  Don't worry about the teeth.  Worry about the blood pressure.  Please go to an urgent care clinic immediately".

The looks on their faces were pretty hard to argue with.  So I went to a walk-in.  Then they took my blood pressure and said "This is too high for us to do anything about, you need to go to the ER at St. Mary's hospital".

Super.  I stopped at home to fill Jen in on my day and then off we went to the ER.  And we actually got into the system fairly quickly.  Weekday afternoons are the time to go to the ER apparently.  And the staff I interacted with were exceptional.  The orderlies, the nurses, and the ER physician were all great.  The doctor didn't waste any time with lectures or horror stories.  He assessed my situation, gave some reasonable theories, and prescribed a sound plan of action.  It didn't hurt that he looked a little like William H. Macy from the early years of the TV show ER.  He was also the only one that didn't look at me skeptically when I said I had no symptoms (headaches, blurred vision).

But even with all the professionalism on display, it still took 5 1/2 hours to get out of there.  Getting medical attention through the ER is not a quick process.  Sitting and waiting for answers is hard.  But it is nowhere near as bad as spending that time listening to the jagholes in the other beds.  What a bunch of whiners.

I was given some meds while I was there and it dropped my blood pressure to a more reasonable level.  I was monitored to make sure I didn't pass out and then I was on my way.  I had a prescription and instructions to come back on Friday for an ultrasound on my leg, which has been swollen for a while, and to get a look at my vitals again.

Friday morning I pick up the fanciest home blood pressure monitor possible and give it a trial run.  My BP had gone up again but nowhere near where it was on Thursday.  So I was feeling pretty good heading back to St. Mary's.  I went right into ultrasound and was done in half an hour.  The tech wouldn't tell me anything and just told me to go back to ER and get registered for the results.

So back to ER.  And, again, weekday afternoons are awesome for getting into the ER.  I was hoping for a quick chat, a review of the ultrasound results, and a go ahead on the prescription I got the day before.  But the ER doesn't roll that way.  I was put back in the same bed from Thursday, hooked up to the same machine that goes bing, and surrounded by the same whiny little bitches.  And I sat there for 3 hours.  3 hours of wondering what the hell was up with my ultrasound results.  3 hours of trying to be calm for the blood pressure monitor.  3 hours of wishing the guy next to me would just shut up!

Eventually it was my turn.  Got a revised prescription, an all clear on the ultrasound, and possibly a referral with a specialist to keep me monitored on an ongoing basis.  So, yah, the rest is going to be up to me.

The last two days have been a wake up call.  A long boring wake up call.  I have to make changes.  No more booze, no more caffeine, no more salty snacks, and no more playstation as my only form of recreation.  And I have to make these changes to make sure I'm around for Peanut and Jen.  I'm only at this point because my wisdom tooth broke last June.  If I hadn't been with Jen, I may never have gotten it removed and then I wouldn't have been at the oral surgeon to get the rest removed and I would have carried on not knowing what was going on with my blood pressure until something bad happened.  When I married Jen I knew I was lucky.  Didn't realize how lucky until now.

So that's the story.  Hopefully it carries on for a few more chapters.

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

What's TBone Drinking?

Scotch has been in short supply this year.  Call it sympathy sobriety.  But I picked up a bottle of Auchentoshan recently.  Yah, it's a repeat but a 5 shot review said it was worthy of revisiting.  I compared it to Cardhu in my previous review and I think that still holds up.  Very bold and then soothing.  A little more peat than I remembered but a very good single malt.  Today, I wouldn't give it 5 shots.  It's a strong 4 though.  I wonder if my absence from the world of scotch has changed my appreciation of this liquid mental health pack.  Or maybe different bottles have different subtleties.  I know I've had wildly different experiences with other brands over the years.

In any case, I'm enjoying this bottle.  I'm not demolishing it, just enjoying it.  It's a different approach to be sure.  I'm happy to be someplace where scotch is a luxury and not a necessity.  This bottle actually sat, unopened, for over a week in my house.  The times they are a changin.

Monday, 18 March 2013


I was watching Bob's Burgers last night and noticed this in the background of the school science fair scene:

It made me laugh because that was MY seventh grade science fair project.  I had recently discovered how to make a stink bomb and decided to make the magical chemistry of Hydrogen Sulfide the focus of my project.

The entire premise was to set off a stink bomb in the middle of class so all the bristol board background, documentation, speech writing, and presentation practice could easily wait until 11 pm the night before the presentation.

It was truly a terrible science fair project. It was the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree of science fair projects.  But my ace in the hole was that the class selected the best project and not the teacher.  And there were more boys in the class than girls. And they thought making the class smell like rotten eggs was AWESOME!

And that's how my shoddy presentation, which looked every bit like it was hastily constructed the night before, made it to the regional science fair in the gym.

I was very excited. I would be a legend if I managed to set off a stink bomb in the middle of the gym! But the judges didn't even let me light the Bunsen burner.  So without the big finale, I was just some kid explaining the science of rotten egg smells in front of a display that looked like it was project managed by the kid's hamster.

I didn't win. But I still smile when I think about it. It was one of the worst examples of my tendency to procrastinate while being one of my best recoveries from severe procrastination.

Sulfur Smells Bad.

Sunday, 17 March 2013

Farewell with Food

Our annual tradition of saying so long to our friends, the Bonfocos, was here again today.  Usually it precedes their annual summer trip out west but every now and then it's a "final" goodbye as they get determined about moving out west permanently.  They seem to be adamant that this is another "final" goodbye and that THIS time it's going to stick.  I remain skeptical but we saw them off anyways.

Seeing them off means getting together for brunch at the Ancaster Mill.  And, if the amount of food consumed is proportional to the degree I will miss them, dear sweet Jesus they will be missed. 

"Brunch" happened around 2:30 in the afternoon so there was definitely a different vibe to this sitting.  The crowd in the restaurant was smaller and there seemed to be fewer options but all my favourites were there and a couple new surprises (hello sushi!). 

I carefully monitored my snacking throughout the day to ensure I had maximized hunger for 2:30.  It's a hefty price tag for this brunch and wanted to get the most for my dollar.  Mission accomplished.  I couldn't eat another thing.  Not even a wafer thin mint.

But we do wish the Bonfocos our best as the voyage west once more.  We'll miss those guys.  They may be homeless but they are good peeps. 

Peanut Video

A sample from our 3D ultrasound session.  Mostly Peanut checking out his/her foot to the dulcet tones of Metallica's Until It Sleeps.

Saturday, 16 March 2013

The Keurig is Dead!

Long live the Keurig!  Yes, after five years of delicious service our faithful Keurig coffee brewer has been retired.  The hard water of Kitchener was just too much for it.  No amount of vinegar descaling cycles could save it.  I did my research and was surprised to find that the state of the art for Keurig brewers hadn't advanced too much in the past five years.

I was very happy to find ECS Coffee in the Kitchener area though.  Best deals on brewers and coffee cups that I've found.  I ended up getting the modern version of the model I had just retired.  The difference this time will be bottled water instead of tap water.

I realize this is pushing me into douchebag territory, with my special coffee and my special water for my special coffee.  But the coffee is just so damn good!

Peanut 3D

We were fortunate to get a very generous gift from our friends the Allenses.  Today was the day we went for a 3D ultrasound to get a more realistic view of our little peanut.  Peanut was very shy and was insistent on trying to hide his/her face with her hands or even feet.  Even with the high tech game of peek-a-boo, we managed to get these shots of our little peanut:

The last one may be my favourite.  He/she had that foot in his/her eye for quite a while.  Little goof ball.

We have a video too, the whole session was recorded.  We had our choice of background music for the session and selected the Lullaby Metallica CD.  It is friggin awesome.  I'll post a youtube video later.  Thanks again Allenses!

Friday, 15 March 2013


It looks like the NHL finally got its head out of its ass (as far as divisional alignment) and got Winnipeg out of a South-East division and over to a sensible Mid-West division.  As with any NHL announcement, I was initially outraged at the other changes involved but I think I'll give it a chance and see how it plays out.  I like how the playoff spots are determined but why the hell are the two Florida teams in the "North-East" division?  Trading those two for two of the New York teams would have made a lot more sense.   There definitely would have been an Awesome Division and a Loser Division then though so I can kind of see their point.  And I guess it still makes more sense than the Dallas Cowboys in the NFL's NFC East Division.  So we just have to get through this bastard of a season and everything will be great!

Wednesday, 13 March 2013


New pope has been elected.  I expect all that child abuse and misogyny stuff will be taken care of now.  Yup.

Tuesday, 12 March 2013


Picture a plant-wide meeting.  It is announced that our high-tech division will be demonstrating their remote-control rover in front of the crowd of employees in attendance.  I lean over to the slightly younger gentleman to my left and say, "Hey, remember Robocop?  ED-209?  This won't end well."

I got a confused look in reply.

"Come on, ROBOCOP!  Do you remember, they're doing that demo and the robot goes nuts and kills that dude?"

"Never saw it"


Turn to the slightly older gentleman to my right and say "Robocop, right?".

"What about it?"

"You've seen it?"

"Of course!"

"The scene with ED-209 in the boardroom and the skittish dude puts down the gun but the robot keeps saying PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON?"

"Well, I don't remember EVERY scene!"

That's when I stopped speaking to people at work.  I've been grumpy ever since.

Monday, 11 March 2013


People have to pay the bills.  I understand that.  You don't always get the job you want.  And you don't always find yourself fully capable of the job you have.  But.  If you find yourself writing for a prime time TV show, in the year 2013, and you look down to find that you have just written "I can't let you do this!  You're in too deep!", do you not have to stop and look at yourself in the mirror?  Is that not the point where you take a breath and realize you are entirely ill-suited for your chosen profession?

And do I, as a semi-regular contributor to an internet blog with readership in the DOUBLE digits, not have to wonder at the spectacularly low bar for employment as a TV writer?  Could I not get a job as a writer for The Mentalist if the only qualification is the ability to retread cop show cliches on a regular basis?

I'm starting my screenplay tonight!  Working title: McGarnigle Goes Too Far!.


Number of fucks I give about the new pope, the old pope, and the conclave:


Please inform the media.

Sunday, 10 March 2013


Out of respect to my dear little sister and her selection of Les Miserables as THE movie of the decade, we are attempting to watch it this afternoon.

We're not doing well.  I've been on the laptop for most of the running time.  Jen has been switching between her phone and doing housework.

There are some highlights.  Anne Hathaway's and Eponine's solos were epic scenes.  Les Mis is a stirring musical and those performances definitely stand out as worthy of the source material.  I'd also say Hugh Jackman does a surprisingly good job in the first act as the runaway convict.

And the rest is a struggle.  I just don't think a straight up film adaptation of a musical works.  I think an adaptation of the novel rather than the musical would have been more interesting to me.  I think my wikipedia surfing of the French Revolution is evidence of that theory.

I'll spare my sister any further criticisms of her favouritest film ever, after Dirty Dancing.  Except maybe one more.  Russel Crowe is terrible in this movie.  Just a bad choice.  Oh, and why do the poor in France speak with Cockney accents?  Weird.

Saturday, 9 March 2013


I loved Casino Royale.  The parkour opening scene is probably the best opening in the Bond series.  Daniel Craig was a great choice to reboot Bond in a more grounded, realistic take on this super spy.

And I even liked Quantum of Solace.  Despite near universal panning of this sequel, I thought it was a great continuation of the story started in Casino Royale.  I think most of the objections boiled down to hating the pretentious title.

That said, there was very little chance I was going to give a positive review to Skyfall.  I was prejudiced the moment I heard Sam "Floating Trash On The Wind" Mendes was going to direct.  I am not a fan.  His movies are dull.  They might be visually impressive works of art but they are dull nonetheless. 

This movie did not change that opinion.  It is a gorgeous film.  But I won't watch it again.  The opening has a lot of movement but somehow still comes across as comatose.  Props to the one shot of Craig leaping on to the remaining half of a train car and pausing to fix his cuffs.  THAT'S Bond.

Then there's a lot of pensive angst and self-reflection.  We meet Q, who is now the equivalent of computer nerd Garcia from Criminal Minds.  I don't have a lot of hope for this take on this character.  Seems very desperate to relate to the youngsters and their hacking ways.

Eventually we meet the villain.  And I stress the word "eventually".  I'm pretty sure we're halfway through the running time before he even shows up.  And by that time we're already done with the ostensible Bond Girl of this movie.  I think she had about 10 minutes of screen time which is about the same amount of time we have of Javier Bardem caressing Daniel Craig's chest.  This conflict of traditional Bond character types had me googling "Sam Mendes sexual orientation".  I was surprised to find he was married to Kate Winslet for seven years.  Less surprised that they are now divorced.

Aside from making the villain sexually ambivalent, we also find out he's as good a hacker as Garcia.  And he has history with M.  And he has bad teeth.  Yup.  Not exactly the depth of character that wins me over.  "I have to wear dentures!  I have to kill the woman responsible!".  And this is an incredibly weak argument against the entire character but that hair is ridiculous.  Just ridiculous.

Eventually we find ourselves in Scotland as Bond seeks to draw Bardem out of his constructed plans and on to his turf.  Two hours into this thing and I'm treated to an A-Team montage of fortifying Bond's ancestral home.  Actually if the A-Team theme had come on at the exact moment of Judi Dench stuffing light bulb elements into 12 gauge casings, I would have loved this movie.

That didn't happen and it is a lesser movie for it.  But conflict, conflict, bang, bang, conflict resolution.  The movie ends and I shrug.  Craig has signed on for two more Bond movies and I'm satisfied with the elements that have been left in place for future movies.  Because there's a better Bond movie out there.  There's one that has action and depth and humour.  Just leave Sam Mendes out of it please.


Trip to the LCBO works out for everybody!

Wreck-It Ralph

I like animated movies but 2012 seemed like a pretty weak year.  Pixar's usually a safe bet but Brave kind of missed the mark.  After Kung-Fu Panda and How To Train Your Dragon, I think Dreamworks has actually surpassed Pixar in my expectations.  And for 2012, they brought us Madagascar 3 and Rise of the Guardians.  Weak.

So maybe Wreck-It Ralph could bring some animated redemption to 2012?  The video game theme, a solid cast, and several critic picks gave me some hope.

But no.  This is not the best animated film of 2012.  It's not as good as Brave, it's not even as good as Madagascar 3.  The first half hour is practically all Wreck-It Ralph whining.  And didn't we already do the "trapped in the game" thing with Tron?  I can't even say it would be good for kids because I think they'd be bored out of their skull in the first half hour and all the references to Pac-Man and Street Fighter are going to go right over their tiny little heads.

So, if you're going to watch one animated film from 2012, don't watch this one.  Watch ParaNorman instead.

Oh, and want to make a note of how we watched this movie.  We first checked on the Playstation store.  The rental was available, for $8.  I guess it was that much because of the 3D?  But no.  That was not an option.  Checked Rogers On Demand just for giggles.  Yup, $8 to rent the HD version there as well.  So we settled on a much cheaper option.  MUCH cheaper.  And I don't feel a bit guilty about it either.  Idiots.

Thursday, 7 March 2013

LCBO Ladies

It struck me yesterday that there must be some sort of hiring policy at LCBO to maintain a staff level of one crazy lady per store.  It doesn't seem to matter which LCBO store I go to or in which city, there always seems to be that one clerk carrying on some absolutely absurd conversation with each and every customer.  Her line is always the longest and that would normally drive me bonkers but she's also so gosh darn personable and quirky that it's impossible to get mad at her.

The working conditions at LCBO might be a possible theory on the source of the madness but it is amazingly consistent that just one of the clerks is affected by it.  Any interaction with her co-workers is loud and typically absurd but is never reciprocated with similar weirdness.  For example:

"Okay Doris."
"I'm going on break Doris."

It fascinates me.  Is it policy?  Are they hired crazy or do they have to train the crazy into them?  It's usually entertaining and it certainly diffuses a lot of the stress that builds up being surrounded by alcoholics.  I'll have to do more research on the topic.  Watch for my soon to be published paper on the subject.

What's TBone Drinking?

Picked up a beer called Hops & Robbers from the LCBO.  And it IS hoppy, as advertised, but there's also almost a citrus flavour in there that makes it a lighter experience than I'd like.  Still no substitute for Barking Squirrel if I'm picking something up from the LCBO.  But even his reign may be in jeopardy as soon as we start seeing some Sawdust City beers show up on the shelves.  I'm pretty excited about this craft beer revival that is going on right now.  So tasty.

Sunday, 3 March 2013

Argo Fuck Yourself

Finally caught up on the Academy Award Winner for Best Film of 2012: Argo.  Meh.  I mean, it's a fair film.  But it's also an excessively dramatized retelling of actual events.  The tension of the situation was well crafted but the entire last half hour was ridiculous right up to the police cars chasing after the airliner on the runway.  There's no drama here because you know they get away.  It's on wikipedia.

It did not impress.  The Avengers remains unchallenged as my own pick for best film of 2012.  And I'd still put Looper and Cabin in the Woods above Argo and any other of the Oscar nominees.  Zero Dark Thirty is the only nominee I haven't seen that might have a chance of getting into the top 3 but I really have zero interest in seeing a dramatic telling of the hunt for Osama Bin Laden.  It might be a great movie but I think I'll wait a bit more before watching.

King Sized

Ray Romano said that the best thing for a marriage is a king sized bed.  We've only had ours for one night but I gotta say I agree with the man.  As peanut was getting bigger, Jen started feeling a little crowded in our old bed.  Off we went to Rose Hill Liquidation to get a smoking deal on a king sized box spring and mattress.

It took some wrestling to get it up the stairs but, oh man, was it worth it.  It feels absolutely decadent.  Self-indulgent and unnecessary  but oh so luxurious.  I was making snow angels in the bed sheets this morning and never came close to Jen.  I did a couple barrel rolls in and out of bed and Jen never flinched.  Freaking awesome.

If you've got the room, I highly recommend picking one up.

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Sympathy for a Shovel

A moment of silence for a dear departed friend.  A steadfast, hard-working companion through my snow bound days in Huntsville and Haileybury.  Kitchener should have been a stress free retirement for my old pal.  Unfortunately, the last row of slush the plow deposited at the end of our driveway finally did him in.  It was the first scoop and it pretty much bent right in half.  A sad end to a true warrior.

Friday, 1 March 2013


The internet is a weird place.  Apparently The Harlem Shake is now a thing:

What's TBone Watching?

I am shocked to find myself watching How I Met Your Mother.  I gave this show a couple watches in its first season and I turned my nose up at it.  But in our scavenging for watchable shows on Netflix, we started in on Season 1 and now we're almost done Season 5.  And it's funny!  I find myself laughing out loud which is pretty rare these days.  Sure, it's a blatant rip-off of the Friends theme of attractive white people in New York, but the story telling element allows for more fantastical bits and interesting jumps in the narrative.  And Neil Patrick Harris owns the show.  Who would have thought Doogie Howser would grow up to have a bigger career as an adult rather than strung out on heroin or serving time in prison?  Good for you, NPH!

So I recommend it.  Surprising, but who knows, maybe some day I'll find myself watching the back catalog of Big Bang Theory episodes.  Good lord I hope not.