Thursday, 31 January 2013

Clitsome

Easing my way back into the hockey.  The free NHL Centre Ice preview has been really handy for catching the Winnipeg games.  Something I didn't notice from last season: there's a dude named Clitsome on our team.  Clitsome.  Yah.  There's a rough childhood.  I wonder if his hockey nickname is "Clitsy".  That's my juvenile observation for the night.

Dummy

So I'm driving home from the store the other day.  I hear a belt squealing from the lane to my right and 50 yards ahead of me.  It wasn't a momentary noise as he turned or accelerated.  Driving along in a straight line, at a steady speed, and this guy's belt is singing an opera.  I pull alongside and look over.  It's a 5 year old Ford Ranger.  I actually sneer and think to myself "Friggin typical Ford".  And I'm thinking this from behind the wheel of my Ford F-150.  Arrogance and a lack of self-awareness is a bad thing.

Sunday, 27 January 2013

Pro Bowl Weekend!

Oh, it's the most exciting weekend of professional sportsdom!  It's the one weekend of the year that I exclude everything else and completely focus on the awesomeness of the NFL Pro Bowl!

Yah, I'm just joshing.  We watched a bunch of movies.

DJANGO!
Finally got around to seeing Django Unchained.  I'm a big fan of  Reservoir Dogs but Tarantino has been delivering less and less with each new outing.  I had a good vibe on this one though.  And it's pretty good.  I think there could have been more on the bounty hunting.  But there's still some good straight up action.  And Samuel Jackson deserves an Oscar.  My new Tarantino rankings are thus:

  1. Reservoir Dogs
  2. Pulp Fiction
  3. Jackie Brown
  4. Django Unchained
  5. Kill Bill: Vol. 1
  6. Kill Bill: Vol. 2
  7. Death Proof
  8. Inglourious Basterds (Seriously, I think I'm the only one that hates this movie)
The Bourne Legacy
I was very skeptical of this movie.  Bourne is Matt Damon.  Anything besides the discovery of Bourne's long lost sexy sister is going to be a poor substitute.  But it came Robickle-endorsed, so what the hell.  And it's really not as bad as reviews made it out to be.  The beginning is kind of slow and I'm really tired of scenes with people at computer terminals yelling over top of each other that "I need that intel NOW!  Pull up that video!  COME ON PEOPLE!".  But I think it's a solid movie in its own right.  Good action.  Some reviewers had quibbles with the "chems" plot device but I thought it fit in well enough.  Better than watching a Leafs game on a Saturday night.

Silver Linings Playbook
I started out not liking this movie very much.  I was as agitated as the main character on screen.  Too many awkward scenes and way too much yelling and characters talking over each other.  There's a point to it, I get it, but I don't enjoy it.  But by the end of the movie, I'm cheering for them to win big at the big dance competition.  Worth seeing.  Oh, and I never thought I would like Chris Tucker in a movie, ever.  But he and his character make the scenes that they are in.  Weird and fantastic.

Seven Psychopaths
This was the movie I had the highest hopes for.  So that's probably why it was the biggest disappointment.  The opening scene was perfect and really sucked me in.  But it was all downhill from there.  This is the guy that did In Bruges and that sense of humour is still there but it just devolves into meta nonsense.  The movie is a cross between Adaptation and Dexter and it is not half as good as either.  So many good actors but the premise doesn't leave much room for them to overcome the story.  Blech.

Draw Something!

Since Jen's conversion to Android, we've been enjoying some spirited play on the app Draw Something.  For those unfamiliar with it, Draw Something is like a game of pictionary that you play on your phone. We don't have the best history at playing the actual pictionary game but Draw Something has proven surprisingly entertaining.  Until I received this:

With Draw Something, you are given the number of letters in the word and a selection of letters that contains the answer.  I could not figure it out.  It wasn't a dog, it wasn't a fox.  Was it some kind of mythical creature?  You have the option to blow away letters that aren't part of the answer to narrow down your available letters.  I did this.  And I was horrified.

The only possible answer with the letters in front of me was "CHICKEN".  No.  There had to be some mistake.  This thing has FOUR LEGS!  It CAN'T be a chicken.  I couldn't bring myself to type in that word. Instead I confronted Jen, showed her the picture she had drawn, and begged her to tell me that this wasn't a drawing of a chicken.

Jen responded with 5 minutes of tear-inducing, near-maniacal, laughter.  I guess I had my answer.  I sighed, typed in "CHICKEN", and resigned myself to using much more of my imagination in this game than before.

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Nailed it!

Hey, hockey's back!  Hooray!  Another stupid lockout, that has cemented Gary Bettman's legacy of idiocy, has left us with a compressed season but at least we have a season.  I cheered the end of the lockout not to celebrate the triumph of negotiation but as a sign of relief from the constant media guesswork and mindless chatter.

Finally, we could get back to the game and everything that makes it great.  TSN and Sportsnet could return to the analysis and conjecture of something meaningful.

But, one week in, what is my TV filled with?  Wailing and whining over whether Nail Yakupov's goal celebration was the worst thing to happen to hockey or just merely disrespectful.  Please fuck off.  Here's a 19 year old kid who scored a last-second goal to force overtime.  He was excited.  And he slid down the ice to express that excitement.  And, from all accounts, the crowd had absolutely zero problems with it.

This wasn't an awkward post-goal salute, this wasn't some practiced pantomime of warming your hands over a burning hot hockey stick.  This was just a kid, thrilled to be playing hockey.  And fuck everybody that has a problem with that.  You think THAT was disrespectful?  You think THAT was disgraceful?  THAT was awesome.  THIS is everything wrong with hockey.


Friday, 25 January 2013

Failure


I don't work at a fancy, high tech, company.  But this Dilbert still hit me hard, deep in the gut, with the stone cold fist of truth.  I can fail at any speed you like.  Brilliant.  And crushing.

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

What's TBone Watching?

We got sucked in by the incessant marketing of The Following.  I like Kevin Bacon, Jen does not but we both thought it was worth a try.  We watched the premiere.  We won't be watching any more.  It is a truly contemptible piece of television.  It has the graphic violence of Criminal Minds, the tortured yet brilliant protagonist of any Sherlock Holmes rip-off, the impossibly connected and clairvoyant antagonist of The Mentalist, and a collective of jack-ass sidekicks that were all probably on NCIS:Los Angeles at some point.  This show breeds despair.  I do not recommend it.

Besides that, we've started in on Fringe, thanks to Netflix.  I had never watched it, thinking it was a blatant rip-off of the X-Files.  And it is that, but it's still pretty enjoyable.  Besides a common theme of supernatural FBI cases, Fringe also shares a sense of humour with the X-Files and that can make all the difference with a show.  We've only ventured in a couple shows of the first season but it's pretty solid filler so far.

What's TBone Drinking?

Not much lately.  I've had the Mill St. Seasonal Sampler which was interesting.  And the Amsterdam Brewery Sampler Pack was a little lighter variety too.  Their raspberry wheat beer is something different if you're looking to mix things up.  But I had to record one of the greatest beers I've had in recent memory.  We went out for dinner to Borealis a couple times the other week and had the Lone Pine IPA from Sawdust City brewery.  Phenomenal!  So good.  I hope they keep it around for a while because I am a huge fan.  Highly recommended.  Sawdust City is out of Gravenhurst and I'd love to try some of their other brews if I ever get out that way again.

And cheers to Borealis for keeping their beer selection fresh and different.  I also had a mocha porter which was great and a cranberry stout which wasn't.  But such a variety.  Love that place.

Monday, 21 January 2013

BERKS!


Peanut got a big gift yesterday.  Auntie Andrea donated a metric tonne of reading material that is sure to keep Peanut entertained for many years to come.  Can't wait to dig into these.  Books were a real big deal for me when I was a kid and I'm looking forward to introducing Peanut to these treasures.  Thanks Andrea!

Schadenfreude

Yup, I had to google that word for spelling.  But I had to get it right.  Because it's a very special day.  It's the day after a Patriots loss.  And those are good days.  Even Monday can't bring me down from this shameful joy.  Watching the infallible golden boy throw two picks, seeing that smug little gremlin eat a whuppin on the side line, having every one of those "experts" that took a Patriot win as a given try and back peddle on their rock solid prediction, all of that is just so rewarding.

Believe me, I'm not a Ravens fan.  And I dread the next two weeks of super bowl hype.  I will be absolutely sick of hearing about The Super Weapon (Colin Kaepernick), and the epicness of a Harbaugh Brother Bowl, and the touching tributes to a grid iron warrior's final game (Ray Lewis).  My brain cramps just thinking about it.  But then I think about last night's game.  And I giggle.

Bring on the Super Bowl!

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Benched

We got a new bench for our front entrance. It's very popular.

Monday, 14 January 2013

Peanut's Place

In true sitcom dad fashion, I have assembled my child's crib!  It was actually pretty straightforward with very few comedic missteps.  I do question the logic of printing the assembly instructions directly on the mattress support frame. I appreciate that this keeps the instructions with the crib forever but would it be so hard to throw in a separate paper copy?
But in any case I can say with satisfaction that my child will not have to sleep on the floor.  Many thanks to Jen's parents for the generous gift. Thanks guys!

Saturday, 5 January 2013

Wind Away

Jen busted up her blackberry phone a while a go.  My smirking knew no bounds.  She has always been quite disdainful of my beloved Nexus S.  Nothing could match the keyboard of the blackberry.  Unless it gets dropped on the asphalt.  I can't count the number of times I've dropped my phone.  I can count the number I've pulled it out of the toilet though.  Once.  And it's still going strong!

But I knew the right thing to do.  As Jen limped along with her damaged phone, I researched phones and plans and ultimately bought her a Blackberry Curve on the Wind network for Christmas.  I've been keen on Wind for quite a while as a true competitor to the stupidity of the Robelus collusion.  $40/month for unlimited talk, text, AND data?  Sign me up.  The only drawback is that they have limited coverage and any time you're out of a "Wind Zone", you go into "Wind Away" mode and get charged for each text and minute of talk.  But their map had complete coverage for Kitchener and Waterloo and Welland and Ottawa and any of our other main destinations.  So, how could I go wrong?

Well, turns out their coverage map isn't what I would call "honest".  After a week of trying to get the most out of this phone, Jen finally had enough.  We had zero coverage in our own house which is CLEARLY in a Wind Zone according to their lying fuck of a map.  And as she went around the region for work, call drops and no service were common.  What a fucking joke.  And I was really pulling for these guys too.

So I tucked my tail between my legs and went to return the phone and cancel service with Wind.  The work-release patient at the Wind desk suggested we set up our new phone before cancelling service so that Jen could keep her phone number.  But then we could come back and return the phone no problem.

Off we went to future shop and got sold on a Samsung Galaxy S II X on Koodo.  Sweet phone.  Jen loves it!  Total Android convert.  They couldn't port the phone number though so that's another thing I'll just blame Wind for.  Now all I had to do was return the Blackberry.

I roll back into the Wind store, hand my special friend the phone, and wait for my money.  "Oh, bad news, sir.  There are 48 minutes of talk time used on the phone so we can't take it back even though it has been less than 14 days."  You can only return phones with less than 30 minutes of talk time.  Un-fucking-real.  Sure.  Whatever.  I'll write that off as a donation to the charity that is RIM.  The important thing is that Wind won't be getting any of our money going forward.

In any case, I've set aside all non-football time tomorrow for crafting a suitable letter to the fucking dick smacks at Wind on how devastatingly let down I was by my first and last Wind experience.

2012 - A Good Year

It's been a long time since I've looked back on a year, smiled, looked forward to the next year, and smiled even more.  2012 was a banner year for old TBone.  Got married, got pregnant, AND saw The Avengers!  Hard to top all that but I'm sure the arrival of Peanut will blow everything 2012 had out of the water.

Speaking of Peanut, I know I had promised pics from the latest ultrasound.  I didn't do that in a timely fashion and that has caused some concern amongst the readership.  Well, rest assured, Peanut is fine and is smack dab in the middle of the development charts.  All is well.  My reason for not posting any pics is that these latest ultrasound pics are a little more, uh, skeletal than the previous ones.  It was kind of creepy as the technician identified the spine and followed it all the way down and then a skull with empty eye sockets is staring back at me.  Yeesh.  What happened to my loveable little peanut?  The technician promised me that all the cute flesh and skin would be there on delivery so really looking forward to that.

Work continues its steady decline in impacting my life but I should still recap for the blog.  I don't like where I work but I think I've finally achieved some balance where I still try hard to do my best but don't let the bullshit bring me down.  I went out for a few interviews last summer and nothing really made sense to relocate.  Anyways, I'll keep plugging away to keep the Peanut Development Fund flush with cash and my New Year's resolution is to really put in an effort to not get angry with people I work with.  We'll see how it goes.  But I'm still looking forward to some parental leave.

Best movie of 2012, no question, The Avengers.  Watched it again on BluRay, still awesome.  Just a fantastically fun flick.  Honourable mentions to Looper and The Cabin in the Woods.  Both movies brought different takes on their genres and that's especially impressive for a time travel movie.  The Dark Knight Rises was the biggest disappointment.  It should have been an epic conclusion to the greatest comic geek trilogy in film.  Instead, it was an incredibly thin, muddled mess.  Ah well, I'll still watch anything Christopher Nolan comes out with.

As far as scotch goes, nothing really stood out in 2012.  There were samples here and there but I think I've settled on The Macallan as my go-to bottle.

So, it's onward to 2013.  Looking forward to it.  Should come clean with everyone on the much promised wedding celebration we said was coming this summer.  Yah, that's not going to happen.  We feel terrible and apologize to everyone but there's just too much up in the air with Peanut coming in May.  This is all on us, we did things a little out of order with the wedding and the pregnancy, but, in my defense, I had no idea that my sperm was so incredibly potent.

And we'll leave that image with you to carry you into the new year.  Happy New Year everybody!