Tuesday, 10 July 2012


Things were winding down one night at the cottage and we started flipping through the channels of the Bell dish.  My sister practically squealed when she saw the show Masterchef was on.  I'd never heard of it but there wasn't much else on so we gave it a try.

And this is a terrible show.  I mean terrible.  The concept is a reality TV show where a bunch of home cooks are competing to get the title "Masterchef".  I knew this was a lost cause when I saw that one of the contestants was a cowboy.  A friggin cowboy in the kitchen.  With the hat and everything.  Fuck off.

Yah, I'm sure he was just randomly chosen.  People trying to get on these shows will alway get a schtick to make sure they stand out.  But they're not really like that.  This friggin guy was from South Carolina!  Not too many cowboys in Myrtle Beach last I checked.  But he was carrying himself like he was straight off a Texas ranch.  This is not reality TV.  It is fake.

And you look around at the other contestants and you can see how the producers had gone about selecting them.  There's the heartwarming story of the woman with a disability, the tatooed "rebel", the "nerdy" bookworm with fake hipster glasses, the annoying douchebag, the athlete, and the completely useless reject.  Ridiculous.

The format of the show is standard reality show fare.  Some competition to give somebody an advantage, then another competition, and then somebody gets the boot.  Should be 15 minutes of television.  But they drag each moment out with dramatic cuts and pauses and commercial breaks and replaying the shots from before the commercial break again after coming back from break.  It is so fucking annoying and I don't understand how producers don't realize how cliche all this shit is by now.

For the 30 or 40 minutes that were left of this show, I ragged on it totally and completely.  There was no maximum setting to the contempt I had for this show.  And then the very next day, there was ANOTHER brand new show!  And I spent THAT hour ragging it out even more!

It was so fucking stupid.  These fucking people are just whoring themselves out for a few minutes of television fame.  And they're such bitches.  I know it's all prompted but listening to people bitch about the other people in a competition is just plain dispicable.  It is no understatement to say I fucking hated this show.

And when I got home I immediately set the PVR to record every new episode of Masterchef.