Friday, 30 March 2012

Religion

You are sitting in your car at the drive thru.  You've placed your order and rolled your window back up.  You let one rip.  You realize the smell that you've just unleashed is a force the likes of which is only dreamed of by syphilitic mental patients.  You have legitimate concerns that the structural integrity of any adhesives in your vehicle will be significantly degraded by the unnatural gas you've just emitted.  You ponder the likelihood of getting an emergency cat scan before the weekend to identify which specific organ is currently rotting inside of you.  And then you notice you're next in line for the pick up window.

And you pray.

You pray to any and all higher beings to grant your dash fans sufficient power to do a complete changeover of the tainted air in your cabin before you roll the next 20 feet to pick up your egg mcmuffins.

And you pray that any lingering odour that may be picked up by the innocent cashier will be attributed to a nearby farm.  Because surely that smell could only come from some dead or dying livestock.

Here's hoping your prayers get answered too.

Thursday, 29 March 2012

Girl Thieves!

FIVE BUCKS for a friggin box of girl guide cookies?!?  That is just shameless thievery.  And I only really want the white half of the box anyway (racist).  And I'm still bitter they changed suppliers 8 years ago.  It's just not the same!  And what are they doing with all this cookie money anyways?  Is Canada Revenue aware of all these cash transactions?  Bah!  I still bought a box.

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Counting Chickens

To everyone who was kind enough to forward screenshots like the one below almost 5 months ago, thank you.  Thank you for making this moment even more special than it already is.



Sorry, don't mean to be a dick about it.  Therapy can be found in the post below.

Sunday, 25 March 2012

Heads Up

This is what I did this weekend:

I've wanted to do this for a while but never got around to it until now.  It's kind of hard to appreciate what's been done here until you try and pick up that kayak.  It is heavy.  Dry weight is 140 lbs and we're storing quite a bit extra in there too.  It's not something you just toss up into the rafters.

I had initially thought I'd just run some pulleys and tie off the ropes to some cleats on the wall.  Then I remembered that Jen would have to park under whatever I slapped together.  That's why I ended up with the 2x4 framework.  This involved a lot of extra ladder climbing.

And I hate ladders.  

With a passion.

I think most big guys are keenly aware of the repercussions of a fall from any kind of height.  It's very unlikely that you're going to get away with just a bruise or a sprain.  There is going to be some breakage.  That's why we're also keenly aware of the rated load capacity of any ladder we attempt to climb.

In any case, I managed to get through it without any personal damage.  Jen's car, on the other hand... well we'll just have to wait and see what kind of crafstmanship I'm capable of.  It does look a little nervous in this picture though.



What's TBone Not Watching?

Don't Trust The B**** In Apartment 23.

Well I guess nobody is watching it right now because it hasn't even premiered.  But that hasn't stopped ABC from spewing out the commercials to make sure I'm aware that there's a show coming in less than three weeks that maybe has the word "bitch" in the title.  Perhaps I'm presuming too much.  Maybe there's some devious balls that live in apartment 23.  Still not interested.

And what's up with ABC and the word "bitch" anyway?  First I was traumatized to find out that something called Good Christian Bitches exists on this network and now this?  I get the feeling that some executive at ABC didn't get enough personal contact from his mother as a child.

Friday, 23 March 2012

Irony

My definition of irony comes straight from Alanis Morissette so I may be a little off base here.  If somebody comes into an office and spends half an hour complaining about how inefficient the tools of her job are and how the one thing she hates is "wasting time", is that ironic?  Or is that hypocrisy?  Anybody that spends more time complaining how busy they are than actually doing work needs a severe adjustment.  Or needs to start a blog.

Hopeless

Poured the last bit of cream into my travel mug this morning.  Perfect!  Had just enough cream to make it to the end of the week!  Was feeling pretty pleased with myself as I put the travel mug into the Keurig to fill the rest of it up with sweet, delicious coffee.

As the Keurig churned away, I got my lunch together.  Then I turned back to collect my coffee.  But instead of a creamy, milk chocolate, brown concoction looking up at me, I had a disgusting, watery, milk thing laughing at me.

I had forgotten to put the actual coffee into the Keurig before hitting the Brew button.  Now you can't just turn on a Keurig and hit Brew and get it to spew out hot water.  You have to open the little container hatch and close it before it will let the Brew button activate.  So that's what I had done apparently.  Got all excited about getting the cream to last the week, opened up the Keurig, saw it had no coffee container, closed the Keurig, and hit Brew.

And ruined the last of the cream.

Fuck.

So, here I am, drinking black coffee.  And grumpy as all hell to boot.

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Frustration

It is a horrible feeling to want to rip the controller out of your 7 year old nephew's hands because he's not playing Arkham City the right way.  I know, I know. I'm a terrible uncle.  But he keeps trying to stun everybody instead of sneaking up behind them and taking them out one at a time!  Seriously!   You can't finish anybody off with the electrical charge gun!  I'm starting to get worried he's going to rely too heavily on gadgets and never develop his stealth and hand to hand combat skills.

Sigh.  If he'd just give me the controller I could do this level SO much faster!

Cheating

Some days, it's pretty tough to work up even a teeny, tiny bit of caring for the work that an engineer does.  This is one of those days.  On days such as these, I will go through the motions.  I move lines around on the screen much like any other day.  And I listen intently to the myriad of complaints and concerns on the work that I clearly fucked up on.  But I don't care.  There is no passion to my line moving.  There is no more than a polite smile for the jagoffs deriding my work.  Getting angry would mean I cared on some level.  But I don't.

So, on days such as these, while I'm drafting away, I may notice certain errors on drawings.  Nothing important.  Nothing consequential.  But it's wrong.  And I know it.  I should fix it.  But I don't.  Each of the drawings gets reviewed by every member of the engineering office before they get released so I roll the dice that they're lacking any real passion to check prints.  Similar to how I lacked any real passion to update the drawings.

So we'll see how it goes.  I imagine some of the items may get caught.  And some might go by unnoticed.  I don't care.

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Douchebag

Took my nephew to hockey practice last night.  My second attempt at this and much more successful than the first.  We knew where we were going, we were on time, we had all necessary equipment with us, and I tied his skates up well enough that he didn't fall flat on his face when he stepped on the ice.  Whooo!  Victory!

Just sit back here in the stands and relax while watching a crowd of 7 year olds chase a puck around the ice.  Unfortunately I was not alone.  Soon after practice started, an all-star douchebag and two of his offspring (?) sat in the bleachers next to me.  After finding his seat, he proceeded to spend the next hour doing his absolute best not to shut up.  It was a constant flow of yelling at his kids in the stands, yelling at his kid on the ice, yelling at his kids to stop making so much noise in the stands, laughing at the one kid who started crying, and then yelling some more at the kid on the ice.

The only thing keeping this guy from the Douchebag Of The Year honours is having a cell phone out at the same time as letting everyone know his opinion on how his kid on the ice is doing.

The absolute kicker happened during one session of off-ice encouragement when the entire rink heard him say "YAH!  GET THE PUCK!  GET IT!  SKATE HARD!  GET IT!  YAH!  HIT HIM!".

Hit him?!?

You just told a 7 year old kid to hit another 7 year old kid?  During practice?!?

You, sir, are a horrible person.


Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Winter of Discontent

So winter is over.  And what a sad, pathetic winter it was.  We never managed to keep snow around for more than a couple days.  My poor snowmobile stayed in storage the whole time.  I could have made the effort and driven a couple hours north to get to some rideable snow but it would have seemed so pathetic to unload a snowmobile on to bare grass at home.  So that season was a complete write-off.  Have to look forward to summer and some decent fishing!

Monday, 19 March 2012

Returns

The big goal this weekend was to help the Robickles take their empties back:

 Yah, they're aware they may have a a slight drinking problem.  We figured first thing Monday morning would be the perfect time to roll up to the Beer Store with this load.  We were wrong.  We failed to take into account the relatively high percentage of retirees and unemployed in the Welland area.  Many apologies later, we had successfully completed the transaction for $165.

This is a lesson for all the kids out there.  Do your recycling on a regular basis!

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Mortlach 15

Special visit to the Niagara region with a stop at Chez Robickle. Jody had procured this Mortlach 15, a scotch I'd never seen before. A speyside malt, so I was pretty keen.

The nose was bold and chock full of caramel. Very intriguing. And the taste blooms instantly into a full sherry oak with that same caramel back taste. All that is followed up with a clean finish and a glorious fire in the belly.

This really struck me as very similar to the Cardhu I used to drink back in the day. Bold, challenging, but thoroughly enjoyable.  I really struggled between a 4 and a 5 with this one. I paid nothing for it, its a 5. If I had to pay for it ($100), its a 4.  Hmmm.

Boldly awesome.  4.5 shots.

What's TBone Drinking?

Labatt 50.

Not right at the moment but a couple nights ago I picked up a couple tallboys.  Why? Nostalgia I guess.  Back in university it was the beer of choice for all drinking events.  Even back then when I didn't turn my nose up to much as long as it had alcohol, I had a fairly low opinion of Labatt 50.  So I wasn't expecting much but it really wasn't that bad.  Better than a coors light to be sure.  Yah not bad at all.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

WWILTPITFTW

Who would I like to punch in the face this week?

Martin Short.

Martin Short is not funny. He never was funny. And I can only assume he was added to the Canada's Got Talent commercial as some sort of ironic gesture.

Saw this commercial on A&E. And that got me thinking that I'd like to take a swing at some of the executives at that place too.  Arts and entertainment? Really? You seem to be coming up short on both terms there.  This station used to be all about Jane Eyre and Hercule Poirot and now it's almost completely a reality show based network for those who can't get enough Dog the bounty hunter or hillbilly duck hunters. Or Martin Short.

Friday, 16 March 2012

Taz-manian Tribute

I realize not everybody is a cat person.  I'm not here to convince anybody otherwise.  But I can say with certainty that anybody who has had my brother's cat, Taz, curl up on them and did not find him to be the most fabulous creature in the world, that person is an absolute, stone-hearted, bastard.

Taz passed away last night and I just wanted to pay tribute to the friendliest cat I'd ever met.  For all my brother's teasing and taunting and shaving, not to mention surviving my nephew's terrible two's (and three's and four's and five's), this cat loved people.  One of a kind and he will be missed.


What's TBone Watching?

Still watching The Good Wife.

I know, I'm shocked too.  Still not a fan of Kalinda, the spunky investigator who doesn't take crap from ANYBODY!  But the stories are always interesting even if the characters can be somewhat grating.

We just wrapped up Season 1.  Looking forward to Season 2. Especially since we've seen commercials for episodes from Season 3 where a few of the main characters from Season 1 are conspicuously absent.

Ooooh, the intrigue!

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Surgery

We had a slight incident on the way to Ottawa last weekend.  The Acer laptop (as opposed to the Compaq or Dell laptops) was mistaken for an armrest and experienced some slight cracking in the screen area.  The person who perpetrated the cracking felt very bad so I don't feel she needs to be identified.

I, on the other hand, was feeling pretty good.  Broken laptop equals buying a new laptop!  The Acer had been pretty handy.  13" screen, slim profile, usb 3, HDMI, and a robust chassis in all areas except maybe in the screen area.  It was very portable and was great for our many road trips.  But I'm always keen on the latest and greatest and recently I've been getting a hankering for a Lenovo X220 that converts to a tablet.

But Jen seemed a little horrified at the cost and insisted I do some research into replacing the screen on the existing Acer.  That's one upgrade/repair I've never attempted before.  I did a search on youtube and found a video of a guy replacing a screen on my exact model of laptop.  I love that I live in this age.  How do I go about doing such and such?  Don't worry, some guy has video taped himself doing such and such and put it on the internet.  Fantastic.  There was even a link to the site where he bought his replacement screen.

And that's exactly where I ordered the replacement screen.  Laptopscreen.com if anybody out there has a similar need.  Shipped from B.C. so no border hassles and I had the new screen in 2 days.  And I tore into my poor little Acer last night to make the repairs.  Piece of cake.  About as easy as changing the battery.  First attempt failed due to an improperly seated connector but it's only 6 screws to get back in there and after 1/2 hour we were back up and running.

So, the new laptop will have to wait for a little while longer.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Rage

Had a whole rant ready about the frustration of being undercut by somebody who has no knowledge or experience on an issue but has a higher pay grade.  But that wasn't being very therapeutic.  So, instead, I'm going with a picture of Rocky helping Jen with the laundry.  Enjoy.


Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Success?

It's an awkward feeling when you meet an impossible deadline.  You know from the start that things aren't going to go well and that the next 3 months are ultimately going to be futile.  But without an exit strategy you can only put your head down and try to get through it.  You compromise on so many things and get angry at yourself for compromising and get angry at everybody else for playing along with this stupid plan.  But then you're at the end and everything has worked out fairly well and some of those long shots have paid off and there's been some fortunate shipping date changes and you've done it.  So you should be happy right?  Not completely resentful and bitter, right?

Monday, 12 March 2012

What's TBone Watching?

Bob's Burgers!

Yes!  The season 2 premiere was last night and it was glorious.  Nowhere near the perfection of the Capoeira episode or even the season 1 finale but this weird little animated show is still one of the best things on TV.  When Fox finally gets bored with it, I really hope it ends up getting picked up by Comedy Central.  It's probably a little too offbeat for prime time but I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

DST

Obligatory rant about daylight savings time:

Bah, stupid daylight savings time, changing clocks like a bunch of obsessive monkeys, split the difference of 1/2 an hour and be done with it, I should still be sleeping right now, stupid government, blah, blah, blah

Man do I hate daylight savings time and everybody needs to know that.

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Tough Shit

Can't seem to go to Ottawa anymore without some poo-related story.  But it occurred to me, this morning, that one of the more challenging aspects of life is that everybody poos.  And you can't always control the environment in which you have to poo.  Sometimes the job just has to get done, in a house you don't live in, on a toilet of odd dimension, and at a time of day that means 7 people are sleeping right across the hall.  My primary goal in this sort of scenario is sound moderation.  And to accomplish this required the sort of pucker control that would have made a 20 year veteran of the London Philharmonic proud.  

And can I say, if you own a house with multiple toilets, you are OBLIGATED to not only stock sufficient paper product but to also provide sufficient "tooling" to overcome any unforeseen plumbing "issues".  There is no greater shame than having to chase down a home owner only to ask "Uhh, do you have a plunger?".  Because, the immediate implication is that if the home owner does not have a plunger, everybody is in for a very interesting morning.

Anyways, no more poo stories for 2012.  Promise.


Saturday, 10 March 2012

White Out

It's been a long time since I've driven up to Ottawa in under six hours.  Should only take five hours but we always seem to have the worst timing for traffic. This time traffic was great!  But the weather was an absolute bitch. 401 came to a dead stop outside of Kingston. Because of snow fall. Granted it was pretty heavy but a complete stop?  What's the thought process here? You're stopping to ride out the storm in the middle of the 401?

Okay, a bunch of Southern Ontarians can't handle some snow. Frustrating but not unexpected. Then we hit highway 15 on the way to smith's falls and another whack of snow.  And another whack of ninnies crawling along at 40 km/h. This I find unacceptable. This isn't the first time smith's falls has seen snow. I would expect some greater driving abilities from these people.  I guess eastern Ontario is a still a far cry from northern Ontario.

Friday, 9 March 2012

Belligerent Tuna

It's no secret, I enjoy a good tuna fish sandwich.  But I usually have a slight pang of guilt knowing that my breath will be less than minty fresh for the rest of the afternoon.  But then there are those days.  Days like today, where a delicious tuna fish sandwich is not only a fabulous lunch but fragrant revenge against those who would try and ruin my Friday afternoon.  People yipping about this or that on something I designed will eventually catch wind of my sea based sandwich and that slight wrinkling of the nose is pure joy for me to observe.  Yah, take THAT.  Find something wrong with my design and you have to deal with an unpleasant odour!  Nobody does passive aggressive meal time like TBone!

Dollar Shave Club

This is friggin brilliant.  I nearly stroke out every time I go to buy new blades for my razor.  It only happens twice a year so I can't imagine how guys with more, um, virile facial hair can afford that shit.  Not available in Canada yet but it's coming.  Check out The Dollar Shave Club!  And the video is hilarious to boot.


Thursday, 8 March 2012

Adios Boojah!

The boojah.net domain is officially gone.  Go Daddy made several valiant attempts to get me to renew but I steadfastly declined.  Fuck those guys and their elephant murdering founder.  Kinda sad to see it go.  I started using the word boojah while I was working at Deere.  Don't know why really.  Don't even remember where I picked it up.  Just thought it was a funny word.  And I thought it was hilarious that I spelled it with a "j".  Yah.  I drank a lot more back then.

In any case, that time has now passed.  I've got redirects on most of the old addresses to point to this site so if anybody gets nostalgic for the old Angrybear or John Bulle, you'll just have to make do with this meandering mess for a while.

Boojah!

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

WWILTPITFTW

Who would I like to punch in the face this week?

Steve Jobs.

This week's goal is a bit more challenging but I'd still like to make it happen.

Monday, 5 March 2012

GCB UPDATE!

I couldn't resist.  I had to find out what GCB stood for.  Turns out it stands for Good Christian Bitches.

Yup.

Not in a million years will I watch this.


Imgur


Ever been to imgur.com? It really has become the highlight of my work day.  Love it.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

GCB?

These are the ads sprawled across The Onion at the moment:


Frankly, I'm horrified.  Is there any conceivable way that these are targeted ads?  Is there anything in my search or browsing history that would indicate I would respond well to such ads?  Dear sweet Jesus I hope not.  And what monstrosity of Sunday night television is GCB exactly?  Everything shown on these ads only makes me want to cut the entire power to the house from 10 to 11 tonight just on the off chance that I might happen to land on ABC even by accident.  I can't even bring myself to google the meaning of it.

What's TBone Watching?

A little movie called Attack The Block.  This movie was raved about in a couple podcasts I listen to.  It's a low budget affair and a fairly hard sell as a premise.  Aliens land in a small part of London and it's up to a small gang of street youts and their mugging victim to stop the attacks on themselves and their neighbours.  Surprisingly gory but also surprisingly well done given the low budget.  Definitely not for everyone but worth it if the kind of movie I just described fits your taste in shlock.

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Home Alone

So Jen left me. For the weekend. Off attending to some bridesmaid duties.  Leaving me to my own devices.  Didn't take long to revert to a bachelor state. Empty beer cans everywhere, unwashed dishes in the sink, computer parts strewn about.  Yes it's a Viva Le Geek Weekend.  Frigging hard drive coughed it last night and I'm shuffling data and hardware all over the place.  End goal is to get the Windows 8 preview installed.  And then get the house cleaned up before Jen gets back.

Friday, 2 March 2012

Serenity Now!

I know I've gone on about this movie before but it's going to be a long time before I stop banging this drum. Serenity is a near perfect movie and it was based on a near perfect tv show. It just pisses me off that it had such a short life when trash like Glee and NCIS: Los Angeles keep getting renewed. And I'm sorry, I tried, but Castle is no substitute for Firefly.  Sigh.  Good thing for me that these Whedon masterpieces have a near infinite rewatchability factor.

That's all. I promise I won't bring it up again. For a while.

What's TBone Drinking?

Old Milwaukee ICE!

I didn't want Old Milwaukee Ice.  I wanted Keiths.  But keiths doesn't come with a convenient plastic 6 pack collector.  I hate collecting all the separate beers I want and then begging for a box at the checkout.  And fuck right off with your paper bag.  Have you ever walked out of the LCBO with twelve separate cans of beer in a paper bag?  Hey thanks for the reminder to keep my hand under the bag but I think I got that figured out.

Whatever happened to those 8 pack cardboard carriers they had at the LCBO?  I had my issues with their origami construction method but it sure beats the current alternative.  As it is, here I am with my Old Milwaukee Ice. Disappointed but sufficiently convenienced.

Pinterest

I don't go on facebook a whole lot these days.  Last time I was on I saw a bunch of posts regarding activity on some site called Pinterest.  Friends were on it, my sister was on it, and even Jen was on it.  Seemed to be all about tagging things you're interested in.  So, what the hell, I'm interested in things.  I'll give it a whirl.

Honestly, I don't get it.  Being on Pinterest is like leafing through a copy of Cosmo in a waiting room.  It's all dresses, and food, and hairstyles.  I know I can select what I'm interests are to kind of filter the stream to my tastes.  And I did that.  But somehow I still get dresses, and food, and hairstyles.

I really don't think I'm their target audience.  I'll stick to browsing through Imgur instead.

Thursday, 1 March 2012

What's TBone Watching

The Good Wife.

Yah, I'm shocked too.  I had zero interest in watching it.  The title is just so polarizing.  It instantly puts in my mind that here is the one good woman trying to do good while hundreds of evil men (are there any other kind?) try to prevent her from accomplishing that good.  Sounded like a real cock chopper.

But three years of consistently good reviews from friends, family, and podcasts finally wore me down and we started in on season 1 the other night.

And it's not bad.  For sure there are some lazy caricatures in there but it sounds like the writing really firms up down the road.  I'll stick with it for now.  Besides there's not much for competition on television these days.