Sunday, 29 January 2012


I'm not a fan of the Oscars.  They rarely match my best of the year.  But I do find the nomination list useful in at least catching up on some potentially good movies that I maybe wouldn't have seen without the nominations.  The King's Speech is a recent example.  A period movie about some poor rich snob with a speech impediment?  Not in a million years.  But with the Oscar hype I was tempted and ultimately rewarded.  I don't think that's going to happen this year.  This year's nomination list leaves me devoid of even the slightest interest in catching up with the supposed cream of the cinema crop.  Below are the 10 nominees for Best Picture and my gut reaction to each film.

The Artist - A silent film about silent films.  I generally don't like movies about the movie industry and this one is all that without any sound to boot.  No thanks.

The Descendants - Probably the only movie on the list that I will eventually watch but it won't be any time soon.  Rich people dealing with emotional issues.  This time in Hawaii!

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close - 9/11 schmaltz.  Sell it somewhere else sister.

The Help - White people help the poor black folk!  Didn't Sandra Bullock solve racism in The Blind Side already?

Hugo - 3D.  That's all I hear about this.  The 3D is AMAZING!  Fuck 3D.  Can't wait for this gimmick to die again.  Plus this is Martin Scorsese and there are apparently no mafia in this film.  Pass.

Midnight in Paris - I don't understand the fascination with Woody Allen.  It seems he is blindly adored by the critic masses every year.  I don't get it.  I've never enjoyed his movies, so I'm guessing the trend will continue with this one.

Moneyball - Baseball is a sport about statistics and percentages.  I hate it.  And this movie is all about how a guy used statistics and percentages to be successful in this sport that I hate.  Just guessing I will hate this movie as much as I hate the sport.  General guideline, if your baseball movie does not star Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, and Wesley Snipes, I will probably not like it.

The Tree of Life - No.  No, no, no.  Not in a million years.  This cinematic exercise in masturbation is being praised as a work of art.  Fine.  Hang it in a museum.  But these are awards for MOVIES.  And MOVIES need to have a narrative.  From all I've heard that is one key component that is missing from this mish-mash of self-absorption.  You have daddy issues, Terrence Malick?  Work it out with your therapist, don't wave it around in my face and expect me to pay you for it.

War Horse - I don't do movies about horses.  I don't find horses magical or mystical or romantic.  Give me a two minute clip of a cat on youtube instead.

So, yah, pretty disappointing list for me.  Just want to put it out there again, Warrior, best movie of 2011.



  1. So, no Kevin Costner baseball movies? Or Robert Redford?