Friday, 25 November 2011

RIP PS3

This is not the eulogy I was expecting to write this week.  Timmay has made a full recovery but I guess the gods still demand their sacrifice.  My PS3 decided to take a tremendous shit last night.  I was all settled in to wreak some havoc in Arkham City when beep-beep-beep, screen goes blank, led turns yellow, then stays at a persistent flashing red.  Hmm, weird.  Turn everything off, then back on, and... beep-beep-beep, same sequence.

Well shit.  The internet must contain some easily applied remedy for this situation...

Ah, here it is... the Yellow Light Of Death.  Fuck.  That's not good.

I specifically purchased the PS3 because it didn't have all the problems the XBox 360 had with it's Red Ring Of Death.  And it has been rock solid these last 5 years.  It's been my bluray player, my portal to netflix, my stream to downloaded content of questionable legality, my traveling Rock Band Road Show, and, of course, my safety valve to release all that pent up office worker frustration with countless bullets and fists delivered to endless hordes of deserving bad guys.

And I've been so smug about it too.  Heralding the PS3 superiority over the XBox to anyone and everyone.  Whether they wanted to hear it or not.  Better graphics, better processor, better games, better on-line store, and better reliability.

But, here I am, holding my limp and useless six axis controller just like any one of those Microsoft bitches.  The only difference is that the Microsoft bitches have a "no questions asked" return and replace warranty for the Red Ring Of Death.  Sony has no such warranty for the PS3 and my newly discovered Yellow Light Of Death.

My only hope is that I can pop the case open and remove the 5 pounds of cat hair that has no doubt accumulated over the years and that makes everything okey dokey.  I'm not confident that will fix anything though.  I think I'm pretty much resigned that gaming as a past time will end as I know it.  I tried playing some Wii after I'd done weeping over the PS3 but making Mario jump around on toad stools to collect coins just seemed to be making a mockery of my lost PS3.

Fuck it, looks like I'll be taking up quilting as a hobby.

 

5 comments:

  1. That's some top tier bullshit right there.

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  2. Dude,

    I must beg to differ on a few points on the Xbox 360 vs PS3. Both have HD 1080p graphics so I fail to see how PS3 could be better. Better games? Meh, there are some games on PS3 that look great that can't be played on Xbox 360 and vice versa. I'd call a draw on that. The reliability issue is one thing, but the xbox 360 does have a fantastic return policy - and not for consoles but for controllers too. I have sent back 6 and 9 month old controllers with nothing more than a "they broke" explanation and gotten brand new ones, having to pay only for the shipping of the old controller to the Mississauga warehouse. And speaking of controllers, the Xbox controller is 100x more superior than the PS3 controller (which is still basically the same thing as the 15 year old PS1 controller, just wireless). If you like online multiplayer stuff, Xbox is the way to go. I have 2 friends that have the PS3 (and they went and bought the xbox so they could play with the other 100 of us who own one)
    What am I trying to say? Go buy an xbox and then spend $50 and get yourself a seperate blue ray player. My handle is Rauncherooney. Come join the COD MW3 madness.

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  3. Dude,
    The Xbox may be able to output 1080p but it doesn't have the horsepower to back it up. PS3 has the superior processors (when they stay glued to the motherboard). It's not all about pixel count. Framerate matters!
    I concede Xbox has the superior controllers and online multiplayer experience. No argument there.
    Seriously, you're arguing the XBox is better because it's more popular? Oprah Winfrey is very popular too. Doesn't mean I'm going to stop and watch the dizzy bitch.
    The whole thing is moot anyways. Picked up my new PS3 last night. The other reason I went PS3 was because of my Sony mastercard. First box cost me $100 with points. This one cost $75. Can't complain.

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  4. I knew you'd find a way to point out my technological ignorance. I knew there was more to it than just the 1080p pixel count but can't articulate it. Kinda like the Jehova's witnesses that can't really prove that god exists, but they just know it anyways. Know what I mean? LOL
    Anywho, I don't think xbox is better because its more popular, I think its better for the multiplayer stuff and the controller is far superior to that of the PS3. I must protest your equating xbox with Oprah Winfrey. That's just.....wrong and possibly sacreligious - not sure but I'll check with the Jehovah's when they come around next week.

    P.S. Both our souls probably need saving so I'll ask about that too.

    Happy holidays and see you in Ottawa? I'll be there from Dec 23 to Dec 31 (possibly until Jan 2)

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