Monday, 3 October 2011


Who would I like to punch in the face this week?

The dizzy bitch at the gas station this weekend.

I pull in to the gas station and look down the row of pumps.  All occupied.  Doing my best estimation of who's likely to pull out first I start heading down the line when I see the second last car pull away from the pump.  Perfect!  I pull in behind and ease up to the pump handle.  I look up and see the car that was at the pump is half way through turning completely around.  And the woman at the wheel is making the UGLIEST face I have ever seen.  She is yipping and yapping at me through her window and it is pretty clear that she thinks I am the most disgusting human being in existence.

It seems she had pulled in to the pump the wrong way for her vehicle.  Either she thought she could stretch the hose across the back of the car or she just plain forgot which side of the car the gas cap was on.  Once she realized her mistake she pulled out to turn around.  Which is when I showed up.

Now the prick in me said "Just get the fuck out, flip her the bird, and start pumping gas".

But considering that her predicament indicated she was at least halfway retarded, I decided to be the bigger man.  I made a little head patting motion through my windshield and mouthed the words "CALM THE FUCK DOWN".  I pulled through and went to one of the other pumps which was now free.

I still can't get that look out of my head though.  She reacted like I had run over her first born to screw her over at the gas pump.  Instead of accepting that she's a fucking dip wad who should have figured out how to gas up her fucking vehicle before leaving her fucking house.   Yet if I punched her in the face, I would be the one to go to jail.

Fucking people.

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